CAMP PLOT-A-WANNA is a weekly 8-part series where Quirk Books staffers reimagine famous authors as pre-teens, stuck together at summer camp. Check out the brochure here. It is also an entirely fictional place. Please don't have your parents drop you off at our offices with sleeping bags.
7:00 a.m. The Awakening
Rise and shine, campers! We don't care how late you stayed up scribbling out a draft of your next masterpiece, counselors are ready to pry your pens from your hands, wipe the drool from your chins, and GET YOU MOVING!
8 a.m. Breakfast of Champions
Goodbye Blue Monday! Chomp like a champion on some noveltastic nosh: Clockwork Orange juice, Bread and Jam (for Frances), and cereal-ized fiction.
9 a.m. Rabbit Run
Up and at 'em! A refreshing sprint around the grounds leaves the campers breathless and full of midcentury malaise.
10 a.m. Finnegan’s Wakeboarding
Riverrun past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay! Campers can hop on their wakeboards and hold on tight for an exciting hour of watersports on the Stream of Consciousness.
12 p.m. Naked Lunch
Featuring delicious specialties by Chef Burroughs. (Note: Campers must be clothed at lunch.)
1 p.m. The Call of the Wild
From nature walks to spelunking, nothing's more inspirational for our campers than the great outdoors.
3 p.m. Fight Club
The first rule about Plot-A-Wanna Fight Club is...aw, forget it, just tell everyone, because this club is a HIT! Light roughhousing and horseplay; no hair-pulling permitted.
4 p.m. The Lottery
A fun way for us to assign camper responsibilities. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe—writers who live at Camp Plot-a-Wanna shouldn't throw stones!
6 p.m. A Moveable Feast
Campers enjoy a picnic dinner on the Plot-A-Wanna grounds. (Campers of legal drinking age may enjoy our special "Papa Hemingway" cocktail: whiskey and whiskey alone!)
7 p.m. Bonfire of the Vanities
With plenty of Camp Songs of the Vanities, S'mores of the Vanities, and Scary Stories of the Vanities to go 'round! (White suit optional.)
9 p.m. The Remains of the Day
Gather around the campfire to share favorite memories and missed opportunities. Extra points to campers who can correctly explain the meaning of dignity.
10 p.m. The Big Sleep
Nighty-night, sleep tight, don't let the plot bunnies bite!
ATTENTION CAMPERS: Cabin Assignments have been posted on the main bulletin board. Please report to your cabin immediately following the Pencil-Sharpening Pancake Breakfast. Note this is not the same as the Pencil-Shaving Picnic Lunch which will be held later in the week. All Cabin Assignments are final, there will be no editing or revising of the cabin assignments.
C., E., & A. Bronte
T. Geisel Dr. Seuss
L. F. Baum